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Cool Story Bro 2014 Edition


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#1 AshesAndLaughter

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 02:27 AM

There you are, you just drafted and Montee Ball is your third running back. You run downstairs to tell grandma about your team and she is like...


Posted Image


She is just an old lady that is running short on enthusiasm and she doesn't understand the importance of the conversation, so you navigate your way past your crusty socks, the peeling Gronk Fat Head on the wall, and the old glass of milk (that is milk, right?) so you can get to the computer to comment in Montee Ball's player outlook thread to announce, "I just landed Montee Ball in the third round, Ohmuhgaaaaahd!!"

Pretty promptly you find that others are using you as a punch line to a joke or just outright quoting you and sending hate messages.

Sorry to break it to you, the answer is tough to handle, but Nobody, and I mean nobody, okay somebody...nope, nobody cares about your team!

Next time you are about to make a comment in a player outlook thread ask yourself, "Is this actually a player outlook comment? Or is this a cool story?" You should know what to do after that...I hope.

If you missed out on last year's 31 pages of cool stories, bang it here.
  • Proteus, FML, JMak and 6 others like this

5th seed for playoffs, #2 in points

12-team PPR; 4pt passing TDs, 2 Flex Spots and no kicker (HIGH FIVE):

QB: Matt Ryan
RB: Jeremy Hill
RB: BOOM Herron
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: TY Hilton
Flex: DeAndre Hopkins
Flex: Harry Douglas
TE: Super Smash Rob Gronkowski
Def: Ravens @MIA

Bench:
Russell Wilson, Rashad Jennings, James Starks, Kenny Stills, Donte Moncreif, Eagles D/ST


#2 AshesAndLaughter

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 02:38 AM

I will go first.

In the rotoworld 14-team .5 PPR 6pts for all TDs league, I landed Cam Newton with the 108th overall pick and the 14th QB off the board! That is ridiculously good value to me!
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5th seed for playoffs, #2 in points

12-team PPR; 4pt passing TDs, 2 Flex Spots and no kicker (HIGH FIVE):

QB: Matt Ryan
RB: Jeremy Hill
RB: BOOM Herron
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: TY Hilton
Flex: DeAndre Hopkins
Flex: Harry Douglas
TE: Super Smash Rob Gronkowski
Def: Ravens @MIA

Bench:
Russell Wilson, Rashad Jennings, James Starks, Kenny Stills, Donte Moncreif, Eagles D/ST


#3 FFCollusion

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 02:55 AM

I will go first.

In the rotoworld 14-team .5 PPR 6pts for all TDs league, I landed Cam Newton with the 108th overall pick and the 14th QB off the board! That is ridiculously good value to me!


I'll give you $2 FAAB. That's TWICE AS MUCH as was offered for Riddick.
On a serious note, what was up with that trade tonight?
  • antadams3 likes this
I do it for the likes...

#4 gbill2004

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 03:25 AM

I got Gronk in the 4th round of my draft...BOOM!!
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Competitive start 2 QB, 0.5 PPR, 12 team H2H deep re-draft league, all TDs = 6 pts. Roster below (starting spots in brackets):

QB (2) - Tony Romo, Colin Kaepernick, Shaun Hill, Michael Vick, Johnny Manziel
RB/FLEX (2) - DeMarco Murray, Doug Martin, Zac Stacy, Jeremy Miller, Carlos Hyde, Mark Ingram, Knile Davis
WR (4) - Calvin Johnson, Alshon Jeffrey, Michael Crabtree, Victor Cruz, TY Hilton
TE (2) - Rob Gronkowski, Martellus Bennett, Austin Seferian-Jenkins
K (2) - Shayne Graham, Steven Hauschka
DEF (2) - Cleveland, New Orleans
IDP (4) - Lavonte David, Jared Mayo, Alec Ogletree, Curtis Lofton

#5 GottaGetTheWin

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 07:32 AM

12 Team PPR keeper league. Haven't drafted yet but I'm starting out with Calvin and AJ Green as my WR1/2 with Julio and Michael Floyd as my 2 Flex spots. Gerhart is my first RB as a last round keeper as well.

My dynasty league I'm running with Stafford at QB, Charles/Ball as my Rbs. Calvin, Cobb, Jerffery as my WRs and Cameron at TE with Ladarius waiting in the wings.

Posted Image
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#6 AshesAndLaughter

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 10:23 AM

12 Team PPR keeper league. Haven't drafted yet but I'm starting out with Calvin and AJ Green as my WR1/2 with Julio and Michael Floyd as my 2 Flex spots. Gerhart is my first RB as a last round keeper as well.

My dynasty league I'm running with Stafford at QB, Charles/Ball as my Rbs. Calvin, Cobb, Jerffery as my WRs and Cameron at TE with Ladarius waiting in the wings.


Posted Image
  • Iron-cock and joeyorr4 like this

5th seed for playoffs, #2 in points

12-team PPR; 4pt passing TDs, 2 Flex Spots and no kicker (HIGH FIVE):

QB: Matt Ryan
RB: Jeremy Hill
RB: BOOM Herron
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: TY Hilton
Flex: DeAndre Hopkins
Flex: Harry Douglas
TE: Super Smash Rob Gronkowski
Def: Ravens @MIA

Bench:
Russell Wilson, Rashad Jennings, James Starks, Kenny Stills, Donte Moncreif, Eagles D/ST


#7 Bluecore

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 12:15 PM

I finally get to do my first draft a week from tomorrow and have a team to call my own.

Team 1 (12 team, 6 point pass TD) (8-5) (2nd seed, first round BYE) 

Week 15 lineup TBD: Big Ben, Cobb, Harry Douglas, K.Benjamin, Forte, Murray, Gronkowski, Blount, Vinatieri, Baltimore DST
Bench: Romo, Terrance Williams, Doug Baldwin, Kadeem Carey, Joseph Randle, Cleveland DST

Team 2 (12 team, 1/25 return yardage) (8-5) (3rd seed)

Week 14 lineup: Brees, Cobb, TY Hilton, Chris Johnson, Forte, Delanie Walker, Harry Douglas, Parkey, Baltimore DST
Bench: Edelman, Delanie Walker, Chris Ivory. Ka'Deem Carey, Kansas City DST, Pierre Thomas

 

Team 3 (10 team standard) (10-3) (1st Seed, first round BYE)

Week 15 lineup TBD: Brady, Forte, Miller, AJ Green, Jordy, Gronkowski, Gordon, Bailey, Baltimore DST
Bench: Rashad Jennings, Dan Bailey, Kelvin Benjamin, Josh Gordon, Lamar Miller, 49ers DST


#8 RotoFan75

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 11:32 PM

3 for 3, all of my teams those far face Drew Brees on week 1, I think he is going to TORCH the Falcons :( (CSB Vent)

#9 AshesAndLaughter

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:01 AM

3 for 3, all of my teams those far face Drew Brees on week 1, I think he is going to TORCH the Falcons :( (CSB Vent)


Ouch, that sucks. Hopefully you aren't up against the guy that took Jimmy Graham in the first and Brees in the second. If you are, just don't watch week one.

Edited by AshesAndLaughter, 18 August 2014 - 12:01 AM.

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5th seed for playoffs, #2 in points

12-team PPR; 4pt passing TDs, 2 Flex Spots and no kicker (HIGH FIVE):

QB: Matt Ryan
RB: Jeremy Hill
RB: BOOM Herron
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: TY Hilton
Flex: DeAndre Hopkins
Flex: Harry Douglas
TE: Super Smash Rob Gronkowski
Def: Ravens @MIA

Bench:
Russell Wilson, Rashad Jennings, James Starks, Kenny Stills, Donte Moncreif, Eagles D/ST


#10 lightweight3

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:01 AM

I'm in a 10 team league where you can start 2 qbs and they are weighted very heavily (Peyton is projected for 49 points in week 1 and jamaal charles is projected for 15) and I have Peyton and Drew Brees. Should be a fun year.
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#11 RotoFan75

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:06 AM

Ouch, that sucks. Hopefully you aren't up against the guy that took Jimmy Graham in the first and Brees in the second. If you are, just don't watch week one.


Damn, one of them has the combo, lol. I hate H2H.

#12 CurlyDumps

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:07 AM

Half of the WR's on my team are rookies (Evans, J. Matthews, Odell Beckham). Uncool story?

WTF was I thinking?
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#13 RotoFan75

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:15 AM

Half of the WR's on my team are rookies (Evans, J. Matthews, Odell Beckham). Uncool story?

WTF was I thinking?


I guess the lure of the upside is too tempting. Keenan Allen proved last year that rookies can make an impact.

#14 AshesAndLaughter

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:18 AM

WTF was I thinking?


You wanted to have the easiest decision ever when deciding who to drop for a waiver wire pick in week 2? :P
  • CurlyDumps likes this

5th seed for playoffs, #2 in points

12-team PPR; 4pt passing TDs, 2 Flex Spots and no kicker (HIGH FIVE):

QB: Matt Ryan
RB: Jeremy Hill
RB: BOOM Herron
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: TY Hilton
Flex: DeAndre Hopkins
Flex: Harry Douglas
TE: Super Smash Rob Gronkowski
Def: Ravens @MIA

Bench:
Russell Wilson, Rashad Jennings, James Starks, Kenny Stills, Donte Moncreif, Eagles D/ST


#15 The Jesus

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:24 AM

I've drafted a few Yahoo pro-leagues so far, and the typical weirdness has already started. Some donkey dropped Gerhart to waivers which ignited a flaming war on the message board with allegations of collusion, and the crap trade offers are pouring in. Ben Tate and Percy Harvin for Dez Bryant. Yeah. The last two years that these have been open I've earned a combined 40% ROI, so the nonsense is tolerable.
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#16 AshesAndLaughter

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:34 AM

I've drafted a few Yahoo pro-leagues so far, and the typical weirdness has already started. Some donkey dropped Gerhart to waivers which ignited a flaming war on the message board with allegations of collusion, and the crap trade offers are pouring in. Ben Tate and Percy Harvin for Dez Bryant. Yeah. The last two years that these have been open I've earned a combined 40% ROI, so the nonsense is tolerable.


That's why I don't do pro leagues...but 40% returns? Dayum! I may have to reconsider!

I prefer daily games for money. Join a $10 daily league with 3 players. Winner takes all, unless you are a dunderhead you should come way ahead by season end. Or you can play in a 10 team league with top 3 payouts. But, the fewer the players, the more likely it is that you get two smurfballs in there. Easy money.

5th seed for playoffs, #2 in points

12-team PPR; 4pt passing TDs, 2 Flex Spots and no kicker (HIGH FIVE):

QB: Matt Ryan
RB: Jeremy Hill
RB: BOOM Herron
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: TY Hilton
Flex: DeAndre Hopkins
Flex: Harry Douglas
TE: Super Smash Rob Gronkowski
Def: Ravens @MIA

Bench:
Russell Wilson, Rashad Jennings, James Starks, Kenny Stills, Donte Moncreif, Eagles D/ST


#17 CurlyDumps

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:38 AM


WTF was I thinking?


You wanted to have the easiest decision ever when deciding who to drop for a waiver wire pick in week 2? :P


lol, this was the first rationalization that came to mind

#18 The Jesus

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 01:28 AM


I've drafted a few Yahoo pro-leagues so far, and the typical weirdness has already started. Some donkey dropped Gerhart to waivers which ignited a flaming war on the message board with allegations of collusion, and the crap trade offers are pouring in. Ben Tate and Percy Harvin for Dez Bryant. Yeah. The last two years that these have been open I've earned a combined 40% ROI, so the nonsense is tolerable.


That's why I don't do pro leagues...but 40% returns? Dayum! I may have to reconsider!

I prefer daily games for money. Join a $10 daily league with 3 players. Winner takes all, unless you are a dunderhead you should come way ahead by season end. Or you can play in a 10 team league with top 3 payouts. But, the fewer the players, the more likely it is that you get two smurfballs in there. Easy money.


I had a really good year last year. I had about $560 spread out over 8 leagues and cashed out $1,220. I lost overall in 2012 though. I think over a longer span of time it would be difficult to sustain a 40% ROI, but we'll see. I plan on upping the ante this year and getting more money into these games.

The daily games are fun, but I've come to a few conclusions after playing daily baseball this summer. They should all likelihood apply to the NFL as well. 1) Small time players have little better chances of winning one of the big multi-entry tournaments than they do of winning the lottery. The "sharks" at those sites have massive bankrolls and will spam every tournament with anywhere from 5 to 20 entries. These are called "trains" in DFS lingo. Casual players have NO chance and are referred to as "dead money" on DFS forums. 2) Playing the smaller games such as you describe does give you a better chance at winning, but I've found that these games in MLB are very hard to make a profit from. It's hard to win consistently enough to profit AND beat the rake. Maybe I'm just not as good at MLB and hopefully NFL will be different.

#19 Nickdoggmoneycash

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 10:42 PM

I think I may have made a grave mistake. I may have just drafted an all-injury team

Romo, Cobb, Spiller, Julio, and Gronk all in my starting lineup...

Should prove to be an interesting year.

#20 mmrodri

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:25 PM

I think I may have made a grave mistake. I may have just drafted an all-injury team

Romo, Cobb, Spiller, Julio, and Gronk all in my starting lineup...

Should prove to be an interesting year.


But think of the UPSIDE!!!!
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