Axe Elf

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Everything posted by Axe Elf

  1. Might as well start one of these for this year, since people keep axing to see my teams. I'll present some of my best here, but they're not really here for you to evaluate, they're only here for you to admire. Think of this as a fantasy football museum, and my teams as works of art. They are not to be taken apart and broken down, they are to be appreciated as a whole. Please stay behind the red velvet ropes at all times. So I did this $100 Yahoo Pro League at 3:00am local time tonight (10 team standard scoring auction draft, normal 2RB/3WR lineups with no flex), and ended up with $14 left over--the most in the league! I'd be embarrassed, but I'm not sure where I would have even spent it. I guess I could have maybe gone for a bigger stud at WR, like Jordy, or McCoy at RB, but I didn't know at the beginning of the draft that I was going to score the lot of Jameis Winston, Doug Martin, Terrance West, Darren McFadden, Larry Fitzgerald, Pierre Garcon, Donte Moncrief, Zach Ertz and Jack Doyle for a grand total of $45. I wouldn't have thought it was possible. So just pretend I spent $1 more on each of them, and then I only would have had $5 left over. QB: Jameis Winston (11) $6 RB: Jay Ajayi (11) $45, Ezekiel Elliott (6) $35, Doug Martin (11) $11, Darren McFadden (6) $5, Terrance West (10) $2 WR: Michael Thomas (5) $41, Allen Robinson (8) $17, Larry Fitzgerald (8) $12, Pierre Garcon (11) $2, Donte Moncrief (11) $1 TE: Zach Ertz (10) $3, Jack Doyle (11) $3 K: Adam Vinatieri (11) $1 D: Minnesota Vikings (9) $2 Remaining: $14 Sometimes this game is just too easy.
  2. Unless you're Axe Elf, and then you're bound to hit on 190.
  3. I suppose it's time for a little closure to the 2017 season, now that I can bear to think about football again. Seriously, the hours spent every week on free agency for 30ish leagues (especially when two or three of my starters are getting hurt every week) and/or finding a trade partner who doesn't think that Lamar Miller is adequate compensation for Antonio Brown gets very old by the middle of November. I was axually going to stop by in the middle of October to give you all an update, but then my dad went into the hospital for emergency open heart surgery, and the next week we were planning the funeral, and for the next few weeks after that, fantasy football didn't seem like the most important thing in the world any more--so I never got around to it. Needless to say, if you followed my teams in the drafting stage, it would have been impossible for me to have the kind of year that one has come to expect from the legend that is Axe Elf--but at least it was better than 2016. The biggest regret is probably Allen Robinson--I know I'm not the only one to be killed by an AR-15 last year, but having him as my WR2 in virtually every one of my leagues really hurt when he recorded only one catch on the season. Given the kind of year that the Jaguars went on to have, I think it's safe to say that Robinson would have been a valuable asset. I have to put Sam Bradford in that basket as well--looks like he would have had an amazing season if he could have played more than 2 games. And if you don't think being right all the time can be a curse, do you remember me saying that the Ezekiel Elliott suspension thing would probably stretch out through the season and then he would end up having to serve his suspension at the worst possible time in Weeks 11-16? Well, it turned out to be Weeks 10-15, but still... and of course I got stung in a handful of leagues where I couldn't pass up drafting both Elliott and McFadden for the price of one RB in auction leagues--stung twice because of carrying McFadden all year, only to have him be a non-factor when Elliott WAS suspended! Fortunately, the usual Axe Elf prescience held for those few players who remained healthy--Larry Fitzgerald made an excellent WR3 for most of my leagues, I was all over sleepers like Marquise Goodwin and Nelson Agholor, and my "QB is the new D" strategy paid off by waiting until the final rounds to select QBs like Carson Wentz, Alex Smith and Matthew Stafford. Having Zach Ertz at TE in most of my leagues was almost as good as having Gronk, as I had predicted, and I figured out that Dion Lewis was the best RB the Patriots had MONTHS before Bill Belichick did. The injuries were too much for most of my Draft Master teams to survive (I only won two of those), but I was able to float along on duct tape and baling wire for several of my managed teams, and ended up just $50 ahead for the season. So a fair-to-middling year for most people, I suppose, but a failure by Axe Elf standards--for the second year in a row! But the biggest loss was still my dad. R.I.P.
  4. What are you listening to?

    It must be. It hit #1 on the Canadian Active Rock Radio chart, and we all know how crappy Canadian music is--Bryan Adams, Justin Bieber, Shania Twain--the Headstones can't be much better. Here's an encore from their previous album (which is just as bad, if not worse, than the new one).
  5. What are you listening to?

  6. Another Springsteen Gem

    It's not Bruce, but I'm pretty sure it's inspired by his body of work in the 70s.
  7. What are you listening to?

    You know those internet gags where you're supposed to see something weird if you stare at the dot for 30 seconds--and then there's a screaming ghoul in your face and you about drop the laptop? That's kinda what the first 45 seconds of this video were like for me. It kinda draws you in and lulls you to--good grief, what was THAT?!?
  8. What are you listening to?

    Same band with the Unofficial Love Song of Halloween.
  9. This really isn't a very good question--which probly explains why no one has bothered to attempt to answer it. The question awkwardly boils down to "Which is your favorite band?" once you think about it. I mean, I thought that just about every song on just about every KISS album was amazing, back when I was like 15. So someone could just as easily raise their fist and proclaim Archers of Loaf to have the most albums full of amazing songs, although I personally can't understand how they managed to trick a record company into releasing even one collection of their efforts. If you're looking for consensus, then you're probably looking at the Beatles, as pretty much their entire catalog is revered as legendary songcrafting. But for every legit answer like the Beatles or Bob Dylan or the Beach Boys, you're going to get a Blondie or Beastie Boys or Bay City Rollers.
  10. I'm not axing advice (I already know who I'm starting) as much as I am curious if there is a consensus to this conundrum--but hey, it's kind of an important game, so if someone has a salient point I haven't considered, that would be of interest as well. This is a 10-team (small) money league, with 2 RB, 2 WR, 2 Flex and a SuperFlex position. Scoring is fairly standard, with half-PPR and 2/3/4 bonus pts for 100/150/200 yards rush/rec. After starting the season 1-5 due to the usual assortment of injuries to Allen Robinson, Sam Bradford, Darren Sproles, etc., I have now won 3 in a row and stand 1 game out of a playoff berth. Yahoo has these four WRs projected to return almost exactly the same number of points in Week 10: Corey Davis 9.21 Jermaine Kearse 9.21 Robert Woods 9.33 Robby Anderson 9.69 Which two start and which two sit?
  11. Cool Story Bro 2017 Edition

    Axe Elf has no equal; therefore, no aliases.
  12. 2017 Vent & Rant Thread

    It's just 1 league out of 27, but when you're facing Henry in a league that awards 2 bonus points at 100 yards rushing and 2 bonus points for 40+ yard TDs, and you're up by 15 points at the 2 minute warning, you feel pretty good. One 18 point play later, not so much.
  13. Name of the Week

    Utah punter Mitch Wishnowsky. I would so name my kid Ulysses, so that he would be known as U. Wish.
  14. 2017 Vent & Rant Thread

    It was a catch--but he came down out of bounds as his hand touched down on the chalk before his feet came down in bounds.
  15. 2017 Bold Predictions Thread

    After the first four weeks of the season, the Jets will be ahead of the Patriots in the AFC East standings.
  16. Absolutely. I have made that bet in probly about 30 leagues so far. Oh wait--do I want to bet that he's OUTSIDE the top 15? Oh no, absolutely NOT! Axually I believe he will be a top 10 RB by the end of the year.
  17. Want to pull the trigger, someone tell me to?!

    So... you're NOT suicidal? I thought this was a cry for help... I remember the time I called a suicide hotline in Baghdad; they got really excited and axed if I knew how to drive a truck.
  18. No, but Crowell is. Gore was merely #12. Probly more like #17 this year, if he has one more year in him, that is. That looks more like a statement of existing fact than a prediction.
  19. Zeke's Possible Suspension WHIR

    If you have Zeke, I'd roster McFadden, but I wouldn't bother if you don't. McFadden is Zeke's replacement, and Alfred Morris is the backup to Zeke when he's starting and the backup to McFadden when he's starting.
  20. No, it is not a yes or a no.