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AshesAndLaughter

Cool Story Bro 2014 Edition

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There you are, you just drafted and Montee Ball is your third running back. You run downstairs to tell grandma about your team and she is like...

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She is just an old lady that is running short on enthusiasm and she doesn't understand the importance of the conversation, so you navigate your way past your crusty socks, the peeling Gronk Fat Head on the wall, and the old glass of milk (that is milk, right?) so you can get to the computer to comment in Montee Ball's player outlook thread to announce, "I just landed Montee Ball in the third round, Ohmuhgaaaaahd!!"

Pretty promptly you find that others are using you as a punch line to a joke or just outright quoting you and sending hate messages.

Sorry to break it to you, the answer is tough to handle, but Nobody, and I mean nobody, okay somebody...nope, nobody cares about your team!

Next time you are about to make a comment in a player outlook thread ask yourself, "Is this actually a player outlook comment? Or is this a cool story?" You should know what to do after that...I hope.

If you missed out on last year's 31 pages of cool stories, bang it here.

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I will go first.

In the rotoworld 14-team .5 PPR 6pts for all TDs league, I landed Cam Newton with the 108th overall pick and the 14th QB off the board! That is ridiculously good value to me!

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I will go first.

In the rotoworld 14-team .5 PPR 6pts for all TDs league, I landed Cam Newton with the 108th overall pick and the 14th QB off the board! That is ridiculously good value to me!

I'll give you $2 FAAB. That's TWICE AS MUCH as was offered for Riddick.

On a serious note, what was up with that trade tonight?

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12 Team PPR keeper league. Haven't drafted yet but I'm starting out with Calvin and AJ Green as my WR1/2 with Julio and Michael Floyd as my 2 Flex spots. Gerhart is my first RB as a last round keeper as well.

My dynasty league I'm running with Stafford at QB, Charles/Ball as my Rbs. Calvin, Cobb, Jerffery as my WRs and Cameron at TE with Ladarius waiting in the wings.

rosterbating-o.gif

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12 Team PPR keeper league. Haven't drafted yet but I'm starting out with Calvin and AJ Green as my WR1/2 with Julio and Michael Floyd as my 2 Flex spots. Gerhart is my first RB as a last round keeper as well.

My dynasty league I'm running with Stafford at QB, Charles/Ball as my Rbs. Calvin, Cobb, Jerffery as my WRs and Cameron at TE with Ladarius waiting in the wings.

alphabet-bro-cool-cool-story-bro-cute-funny-Favim.com-75058_thumb.jpg

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3 for 3, all of my teams those far face Drew Brees on week 1, I think he is going to TORCH the Falcons :( (CSB Vent)

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3 for 3, all of my teams those far face Drew Brees on week 1, I think he is going to TORCH the Falcons :( (CSB Vent)

Ouch, that sucks. Hopefully you aren't up against the guy that took Jimmy Graham in the first and Brees in the second. If you are, just don't watch week one.

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I'm in a 10 team league where you can start 2 qbs and they are weighted very heavily (Peyton is projected for 49 points in week 1 and jamaal charles is projected for 15) and I have Peyton and Drew Brees. Should be a fun year.

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Ouch, that sucks. Hopefully you aren't up against the guy that took Jimmy Graham in the first and Brees in the second. If you are, just don't watch week one.

Damn, one of them has the combo, lol. I hate H2H.

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Half of the WR's on my team are rookies (Evans, J. Matthews, Odell Beckham). Uncool story?

WTF was I thinking?

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Half of the WR's on my team are rookies (Evans, J. Matthews, Odell Beckham). Uncool story?

WTF was I thinking?

I guess the lure of the upside is too tempting. Keenan Allen proved last year that rookies can make an impact.

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WTF was I thinking?

You wanted to have the easiest decision ever when deciding who to drop for a waiver wire pick in week 2? :P

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I've drafted a few Yahoo pro-leagues so far, and the typical weirdness has already started. Some donkey dropped Gerhart to waivers which ignited a flaming war on the message board with allegations of collusion, and the crap trade offers are pouring in. Ben Tate and Percy Harvin for Dez Bryant. Yeah. The last two years that these have been open I've earned a combined 40% ROI, so the nonsense is tolerable.

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I've drafted a few Yahoo pro-leagues so far, and the typical weirdness has already started. Some donkey dropped Gerhart to waivers which ignited a flaming war on the message board with allegations of collusion, and the crap trade offers are pouring in. Ben Tate and Percy Harvin for Dez Bryant. Yeah. The last two years that these have been open I've earned a combined 40% ROI, so the nonsense is tolerable.

That's why I don't do pro leagues...but 40% returns? Dayum! I may have to reconsider!

I prefer daily games for money. Join a $10 daily league with 3 players. Winner takes all, unless you are a dunderhead you should come way ahead by season end. Or you can play in a 10 team league with top 3 payouts. But, the fewer the players, the more likely it is that you get two smurfballs in there. Easy money.

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WTF was I thinking?

You wanted to have the easiest decision ever when deciding who to drop for a waiver wire pick in week 2? :P

lol, this was the first rationalization that came to mind

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I've drafted a few Yahoo pro-leagues so far, and the typical weirdness has already started. Some donkey dropped Gerhart to waivers which ignited a flaming war on the message board with allegations of collusion, and the crap trade offers are pouring in. Ben Tate and Percy Harvin for Dez Bryant. Yeah. The last two years that these have been open I've earned a combined 40% ROI, so the nonsense is tolerable.

That's why I don't do pro leagues...but 40% returns? Dayum! I may have to reconsider!

I prefer daily games for money. Join a $10 daily league with 3 players. Winner takes all, unless you are a dunderhead you should come way ahead by season end. Or you can play in a 10 team league with top 3 payouts. But, the fewer the players, the more likely it is that you get two smurfballs in there. Easy money.

I had a really good year last year. I had about $560 spread out over 8 leagues and cashed out $1,220. I lost overall in 2012 though. I think over a longer span of time it would be difficult to sustain a 40% ROI, but we'll see. I plan on upping the ante this year and getting more money into these games.

The daily games are fun, but I've come to a few conclusions after playing daily baseball this summer. They should all likelihood apply to the NFL as well. 1) Small time players have little better chances of winning one of the big multi-entry tournaments than they do of winning the lottery. The "sharks" at those sites have massive bankrolls and will spam every tournament with anywhere from 5 to 20 entries. These are called "trains" in DFS lingo. Casual players have NO chance and are referred to as "dead money" on DFS forums. 2) Playing the smaller games such as you describe does give you a better chance at winning, but I've found that these games in MLB are very hard to make a profit from. It's hard to win consistently enough to profit AND beat the rake. Maybe I'm just not as good at MLB and hopefully NFL will be different.

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I think I may have made a grave mistake. I may have just drafted an all-injury team

Romo, Cobb, Spiller, Julio, and Gronk all in my starting lineup...

Should prove to be an interesting year.

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I think I may have made a grave mistake. I may have just drafted an all-injury team

Romo, Cobb, Spiller, Julio, and Gronk all in my starting lineup...

Should prove to be an interesting year.

But think of the UPSIDE!!!!

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I think I may have made a grave mistake. I may have just drafted an all-injury team

Romo, Cobb, Spiller, Julio, and Gronk all in my starting lineup...

Should prove to be an interesting year.

But think of the UPSIDE!!!!

Go big or go home right?!

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I think I may have made a grave mistake. I may have just drafted an all-injury team

Romo, Cobb, Spiller, Julio, and Gronk all in my starting lineup...

Should prove to be an interesting year.

But think of the UPSIDE!!!!

Go big or go home right?!

If I played in any free leagues, I would shoot for this lineup just to see how the risk/reward players work out:

QB: RG3

RB: Demarco Murray

RB: Shane Vereen

WR: Julio Jones

WR: Percy Harvin

TE: Jordan Reed

Flex Steven Jackson

Think of the best/worst case scenarios. Now THAT would be an interesting season.

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Well ive got Cobb, Welker and Patterson in one league, if they all just do their thang, ill be happy. Not to mention Brees/Graham connection in which I will get a great laugh everytime that connects :P that's my CSB so far.

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Playing in these Yahoo Pro leagues are frustrating as hell.... Absolutley NO ONE is willing to part with any of their players, except bench scrubs for my first few picks. Ill offer fair trades that legitmately benefit both of us, with immediate rejection and no counter. Sigh...

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