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Axe Elf

Axe Elf Fixes Your Team 9/2

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6 hours ago, Axe Elf said:

 

Jeez, people, pay attention!  We're CLOSED!

 

WAKE UP!!!!     WE HAVE NEEEEEDS!!!!

 

 

 

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10 hours ago, bosny said:

Thanks Axe! I'll take pretty good.  Haha.  Does Rishard Matthews have any value? Michael Thomas still best "lottery ticket" for me?  Thanks again!

I'd think rishard is a better lotto than thomas

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21 minutes ago, Impreza178 said:

@bhawks489

 

Shouldn't there be quotations around the title of this thread?

 

Axe Elf "fixes" your team

 

lol

He's "helping" the other managers in his leagues.

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34 minutes ago, Impreza178 said:

@bhawks489

Axe Elf "fixes" your team

 

14 minutes ago, bhawks489 said:

He's "helping" the other managers in his leagues.

 

The extended title was "fixes your team whilst axtually slapping your ego with insults you may or mayn't understand" but SysAdmin couldn't fit it in.

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1 hour ago, Impreza178 said:

WAKE UP!!!!     WE HAVE NEEEEEDS!!!!

 

47 minutes ago, bhawks489 said:

He's "helping" the other managers in his leagues.

 

Since the Elf's physical restrictions cause him to remain dormant as the sun rises, maybe one of you two could lead this thread for a while, until he returns?  

 

But your advice should be in the style of Axe complete with underhanded complements (never compliments). And you must use he term "axtually" at least once.

 

Here's my question: 12-team league, Alex Smith comes off my bench for a good matchup during my QB's bye. Should I drop Smith and pick up Eli Rogers, who's currently-but-not-for-long on waiver?

 

 

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8 minutes ago, cohenstantinople said:

Since the Elf's physical restrictions cause him to remain dormant as the sun rises, maybe one of you two could lead this thread for a while, until he returns?  

 

But your advice should be in the style of Axe complete with underhanded complements (never compliments). And you must use he term "axtually" at least once.

 

Here's my question: 12-team league, Alex Smith comes off my bench for a good matchup during my QB's bye. Should I drop Smith and pick up Eli Rogers, who's currently-but-not-for-long on waiver?

 

Axe Imp says...

Any qb not named Stafford should immediately be dropped and axe-iled to Cuba.

Rogers, while not a top 5 wr like Devante Parker, is a good speculative add. 

 

 

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13 minutes ago, Impreza178 said:

 

Axe Imp says...

Any qb not named Stafford should immediately be dropped and axe-iled to Cuba.

Rogers, while not a top 5 wr like Devante Parker, is a good speculative add. 

 

 

 

-2 points for failing to insult my intelligence

+2 for creative use of the "ax" prefix

+4 for successfully integrating BOTH Stafford and D.Parker

 

 

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If you're pressed for wrs take a shot on Eli Rogers but I don't think he'd Crack the starting lineup. I'd rather roster rbs on the bench for lotto tickets 

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33 minutes ago, bhawks489 said:

If you're pressed for wrs take a shot on Eli Rogers but I don't think he'd Crack the starting lineup. I'd rather roster rbs on the bench for lotto tickets 

 

+6 for quality of advice

-2 for failing to insult in an Axe-like way 

-1 for failing to use "axe" as a prefix 

 

consider this Axian fix:

 

"If you had half a brain, you'd use it to get Stafford in round 10. Because you failed to land DeVante Parker, you're pressed for WRs and you're axually left with garbage: Eli Rogers is a pile of refuse. You might try rostering hopeful RBs in an RB Hail Mary. You also might try joining another league and starting again."

 

Close call, but Axe-Impreza wins, 4 to 3

 

 

2 hours ago, Impreza178 said:

Axe Imp says...

 

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Axe is unavailable, however the thread has morphed into fixes in an Axian style. And this is an easy one:

 

"Stafford, and it's not even close. Would you axually consider a third rate QB who has to use his feet instead of his arm, OVERDRAFTED in rounds 7-8, over a top 5 QB in round 10?"

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7 minutes ago, cohenstantinople said:

Axe is unavailable, however the thread has morphed into fixes in an Axian style. And this is an easy one:

 

"Stafford, and it's not even close. Would you axually consider a third rate QB who has to use his feet instead of his arm, OVERDRAFTED in rounds 7-8, over a top 5 QB in round 10?"

Thanks

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3 hours ago, Impreza178 said:

 

Axe Imp says...

1 hour ago, burninglegs said:

I'd rather have Ben's #2 over the Sharpes, Funchess, Fullers, DGBs of this league. 

 

2 hours ago, bhawks489 said:

I'd rather roster rbs on the bench for lotto tickets 

 

Next question, a little trickier because it doesn't involve Stafford or Parker. Like the first, it's a real question (and if you have any questions, post up).

 

Which RB would you start week 1, Frank Gore at home vs. Detroit? Or, Jeremy Langford on the road in Houston?  

 

0.25 PPR --- FantasyPros gives Gore a 55% vs. Langford at 45% --- but you're tasked with giving the advice Axe Elf would give using his language and attitude. Any takers?

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5 hours ago, bhawks489 said:

He's "helping" the other managers in his leagues.

I thought he was just talking to all his ghost accounts

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any help would be appreciated, going to start Deangelo over Rawls i think cuz of the juicy matchup.

 

picked 6/12, 0.5 ppr, 0.5 First downs, yardage bonuses, 40 yard rec/rush bonus

 

2vmhbu8.png

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7 minutes ago, rahuLL said:

any help would be appreciated, going to start Deangelo over Rawls i think cuz of the juicy matchup.

 

picked 6/12, 0.5 ppr, 0.5 First downs, yardage bonuses, 40 yard rec/rush bonus

 

Axe isn't in right now, but the collective is tackling questions in an Axe-like style, complete with Elven viewpoint and attitude:

 

"Why wouldn't you start Rawls against one of the WORST run defenses of 2015? Axtually, to call Miami's defensive line a "defense" is stretching it. A top 5 offensive line for rushing with Rawls: it's not even close. Here, see what these guys think of the Phins' "D" vs. rushing: http://www.rotoworld.com/articles/nfl/64670/179/2015-defensive-vulnerabilities?ls=roto:nfl:gnav. "

 

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Ok I need advice on the quality of this DRAFTMASTER team. Ppr QB 2rb 2wr flex te k def

 

QB: WInston(5)Flacco (1)

RB:L.Miller (34)D.Martin (22)D.Woodhead (12)R.Jennings (5)J.Stewart(3)L.Blount (2)

WR: B.Marshall (33)A.Jeffrey (27)S.Watkins (23)M.Floyd (14)T.Austin (2)

TE: Ebron(1)Z.Miller (1)K.Rudolph (2)

K 2 of does it matter not conflicting byes

D  2 of does it matter not conflicting byes

 

Oh and the biggest horse**** of this auction was the fact that the software froze 2!!! Separate times where JAMALL CHARLES went for 16!!!! Dollars and golden tate went for 8!!

 

Comment section blew up

 

Oh and WHIR of course, leave a link.

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ESPN: 10 team std

 

Axe:  Rate my team please, I know I did bad on TE, Witten, Virgil Green, and Bennett are available?  Drop anyone for Carr or Dalton?

 

QB:  Palmer

RB: Lacy, Forte, Foster, Deangelo Williams, Derrick Henry

WR:  Julio, ARob, Landry, Gordon, Shepard, Rishard

TE: Ertz, Graham

DST: Houton

K: Prater

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