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GBPig99

Life's Annoyances

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The overuse of the word "beast" on the football forum.

Random bench player produces out of nowhere- "beast!!!!111"

Please add this to the list words that need to be erased from the fantasy lexicon.

I found my younger brother using the term "beast" out of context i.e "that is beast!". I don't get it, but apparently it's a cool thing to say now.

I for one will not use it.

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"Can someone look into this and advise?"

"_____'s internet is down. Please advise."

I HATE THE WORD 'ADVISE'!

Oh, and another word I've heard way too much of.

'Change'

Every time I hear that word, no matter what the context, it puts my mind on politics. I swear, if I leave work today and some bum asks me for some "change", he just might get a face full of fist.

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Every time I hear that word, no matter what the context, it puts my mind on politics. I swear, if I leave work today and some bum asks me for some "change", he just might get a face full of fist.

I thought I was the only one with this one, good to see there is at least one other.

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Oh, and another word I've heard way too much of.

'Change'

Every time I hear that word, no matter what the context, it puts my mind on politics. I swear, if I leave work today and some bum asks me for some "change", he just might get a face full of fist.

Change?

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My g/f annoyed me on my birthday this year. Now I'm not saying I did anything super grand for her birthday, but I at least got her flowers, a nice card, one of her favorite TV shows on DVD and took her out to dinner for the evening.....

A few months later my b-day rolls around. I get a card, one of those big koosh balls and a pack of Werther's candy. I'm freakin' 26 years old and I have no use for a damn koosh ball. At least the card was nice and the Werther's were funny because I call them "Old Man Candy", but still it reeked of "Oh crap I forgot his b-day is today" especially when my gift was given to me in the Walgreen's bag that she stopped by on the way home from work....

I can't wait to see what I get for my next b-day. Perhaps an Etch-A-Sketch and some Tums are in order....

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Stupid people.

These morons at one of the stores were told to slowly put together a contact list of whoever made a purchase at their store to generate a MAILING LIST. These jackasses basically put anything any everything into this excel sheet. One moron seriously put "Jason's friend" as one of the customers.... B)

So now I have these excel sheet of 18,000+ to go through and delete all the garbage that is useless out of it. Been through 9,000 so far and 8,000 of those were entirely useless and deleted.

:)

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Stupid people.

These morons at one of the stores were told to slowly put together a contact list of whoever made a purchase at their store to generate a MAILING LIST. These jackasses basically put anything any everything into this excel sheet. One moron seriously put "Jason's friend" as one of the customers.... B)

So now I have these excel sheet of 18,000+ to go through and delete all the garbage that is useless out of it. Been through 9,000 so far and 8,000 of those were entirely useless and deleted.

:)

You know how to write macros?

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It would save a lot of time. You could write something to check every record for a 7/10 digit phone number or a real name (real as in 2 words), etc. and delete it if it's not right. 18,000 records would probably only take 5 seconds for something like that to run, versus a couple of days going through it.

I'm actually kinda bored at work. If you want to email me the spreadsheet, I'll do it for you (unless you're bored too and actually want to go through them one by one B))

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It would save a lot of time. You could write something to check every record for a 7/10 digit phone number or a real name (real as in 2 words), etc. and delete it if it's not right. 18,000 records would probably only take 5 seconds for something like that to run, versus a couple of days going through it.

I'm actually kinda bored at work. If you want to email me the spreadsheet, I'll do it for you (unless you're bored too and actually want to go through them one by one B))

It's actually not phone records, we're talking about the ugliest spread sheet ever.

There are 2 first name columns, 3 last name columns, 3 physical address columns, 1 email column, 2 states and zip code columns. I seriously question the people who made this, and if they had a brain.

The only reason what you said wouldn't work is because these morons plugged whatever they wanted whereever they wanted. I have names in the zip code column, I have addresses in columns that aren't even part of the sheet, you know it and whatever distoreted way you can come up with is on this sheet.

So yeah, I have to go through and read each one and sort everything out in the proper column and also so once I'm done I can delete a bunch of these useless columns to make the sheet actually usable.

Plus, I'm here as long as there is work for me to do so I'm not exactly doing this as quickly as I can. Luckily I have about 150+ printer paper boxes to go through so I should be here for quite a while. What I'm doing now isn't even part of that, and neither is my next project.

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It's actually not phone records, we're talking about the ugliest spread sheet ever.

There are 2 first name columns, 3 last name columns, 3 physical address columns, 1 email column, 2 states and zip code columns. I seriously question the people who made this, and if they had a brain.

The only reason what you said wouldn't work is because these morons plugged whatever they wanted whereever they wanted. I have names in the zip code column, I have addresses in columns that aren't even part of the sheet, you know it and whatever distoreted way you can come up with is on this sheet.

So yeah, I have to go through and read each one and sort everything out in the proper column and also so once I'm done I can delete a bunch of these useless columns to make the sheet actually usable.

Plus, I'm here as long as there is work for me to do so I'm not exactly doing this as quickly as I can. Luckily I have about 150+ printer paper boxes to go through so I should be here for quite a while. What I'm doing now isn't even part of that, and neither is my next project.

Stupid people.

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It's actually not phone records, we're talking about the ugliest spread sheet ever.

There are 2 first name columns, 3 last name columns, 3 physical address columns, 1 email column, 2 states and zip code columns. I seriously question the people who made this, and if they had a brain.

The only reason what you said wouldn't work is because these morons plugged whatever they wanted whereever they wanted. I have names in the zip code column, I have addresses in columns that aren't even part of the sheet, you know it and whatever distoreted way you can come up with is on this sheet.

So yeah, I have to go through and read each one and sort everything out in the proper column and also so once I'm done I can delete a bunch of these useless columns to make the sheet actually usable.

Plus, I'm here as long as there is work for me to do so I'm not exactly doing this as quickly as I can. Luckily I have about 150+ printer paper boxes to go through so I should be here for quite a while. What I'm doing now isn't even part of that, and neither is my next project.

My experience says I am a data manipulator first and foremost. Although I'm a bit weak on the macro and VB writing in excel, I consider myself pretty advanced at Excel. Give me a dataset (I write SQL query's as well), and I can manipulate it any way you like.

Here's an easier way to manipulate your data...turn on your Auto Filters, then use custom criteria.

Example: In the zip code column(s), search for 'is greater than or equal to "a".

Example: In the email column(s), search for does not include "@". And then another search for 'does not include "."

When you are complete, will you know which name goes with which "primary address" and do you know which city/state/zip columns go with the primary address. I'm assuming you have secondary addresses too. Possibly home/work address?

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My experience says I am a data manipulator first and foremost. Although I'm a bit weak on the macro and VB writing in excel, I consider myself pretty advanced at Excel. Give me a dataset (I write SQL query's as well), and I can manipulate it any way you like.

Here's an easier way to manipulate your data...turn on your Auto Filters, then use custom criteria.

Example: In the zip code column(s), search for 'is greater than or equal to "a".

Example: In the email column(s), search for does not include "@". And then another search for 'does not include "."

When you are complete, will you know which name goes with which "primary address" and do you know which city/state/zip columns go with the primary address. I'm assuming you have secondary addresses too. Possibly home/work address?

All of that stuff would be nice, but there are also a boatload of typos, wrong state abbreviates, wrong street address abbreviations, and just a bunch of crap. Bascially, they want me to tidy it up and proof read it.

Basically the way I have it set up and how I'm fixing it up to be is in this order in seperate columns: Last Name, First Name, Address, City, State, and Zip. This is also the way the printing company wanted us to have it formatted as well so they can mass print all of these envelopes for us. Between this list, and a few other lists that I'm occasionally working on, we're going to end up having 30,000+ at the least.

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Parents who give their kids trendy last names as first names, and try to make them more trendy by spelling them with different letters so they can correct people for the rest of their friggin' lives:

Example: Cameron - Kamyrin.

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All of that stuff would be nice, but there are also a boatload of typos, wrong state abbreviates, wrong street address abbreviations, and just a bunch of crap. Bascially, they want me to tidy it up and proof read it.

Basically the way I have it set up and how I'm fixing it up to be is in this order in seperate columns: Last Name, First Name, Address, City, State, and Zip. This is also the way the printing company wanted us to have it formatted as well so they can mass print all of these envelopes for us. Between this list, and a few other lists that I'm occasionally working on, we're going to end up having 30,000+ at the least.

The unabbreviated/incorrect state names is easy to deal with. Do you know how to use advanced auto filters? VLOOKUP?

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The unabbreviated/incorrect state names is easy to deal with. Do you know how to use advanced auto filters? VLOOKUP?

No, I'm not an excel expert or anywhere near it and do not plan on being one. The longer it takes the better, that means I have a job longer haha.

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I have no idea how I missed this one. But since I just got done paying a few (bye bye 2/3 of my last paycheck B)), I'll put it up.

BILLS!

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Parents who give their kids trendy last names as first names, and try to make them more trendy by spelling them with different letters so they can correct people for the rest of their friggin' lives:

Example: Cameron - Kamyrin.

THANK YOU!.

As a teacher, I see a lot of this. I've also seen a girl named Baby Girl. Guess the parents forgot to fill out the birth certificate. No joke.

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Keeping with the name theme...sort of...I'm tired of the "y" nickname trend such as Westy, Fitzy, Mendy, and so on...

Westy and Fitzy sound like they're more likely to be Teletubbies than football players.

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I had to setup a 30 foot jib last night with no instructions wanna talk about annoying? It only took me 4 hours to assemble.

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People who sound like a trumpet when they blow their nose, and feel the need to keep blowing until their blue in the face.

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