DocJ

2017 Rotoworld Mock Real League

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I think Ajayi will be just fine, but the grid is hilarious.

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While we wait, I thought this would be a good time to break out the bar setting response to trade offers from Robrain:

(I am not sure the original author was, but much obliged for the laughs - best response award without question).

It's just not quite football season for me until I've read this a couple times. 

 

"Dear Bruce,

I asked you as politely as I could to stop proposing trades to me. You are obviously stupid, naïve, or just plain rude because you haven’t listened. Here’s my final attempt:

I don’t care if you have the cure for cancer and you want to trade it to me for my kicker – LEAVE ME THE f--- ALONE.

I don’t care if doctors call me and tell me that your life depends on whether I will make a fantasy football trade with you – LEAVE ME THE f--- ALONE.

I don’t care if the movie Armageddon comes to life and the government comes to me saying that I need to make a trade with you or you won’t go into space to save the world. I will just send you an email saying - – LEAVE ME THE f--- ALONE.

******** STOP IT, YOU USELESS, COCKLESS, SPINELESS, SAD ***********.

Get out of your mother’s basement and make some friends. I know it’s hard, just try. I’m sure everyone will hate your guts within seconds of meeting you, but just stick with it. Try not to insult their intelligence by JUST BEING ******** NORMAL YOU ******** CREEPY FAGGOT. Maybe we’re reaching here – just start with owning a plant.

Also, go see a shrink. You have HUGE psychological problems. I can see you laying out your “Joker” makeup and handguns at this moment. PLEASE GO TALK TO SOMEONE. I know your life sucks. Really, really bad. Those bad men should not have done those things to you and your butthole. You just can’t take that out on everyone here. Please go get the help you desperately need.

Signed,

Everyone that has ever encountered your pathetic, annoying, worthless self"

 

Edited by Winky

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That one never gets old LMFAO!!!!

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5 minutes ago, Winky said:

While we wait, I thought this would be a good time to break out the bar setting response to trade offers from Robrain:

(I am not sure the original author was, but much obliged for the laughs - best response award without question).

It's just not quite football season for me until I've read this a couple times. 

 

 

It has become a monument to signify the rich heritage and culture of the RW Mock Real League.

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It was a bit nebulous between Proteus and Ryan who was going to be drafting...I hope both aren't thinking the other is drafting.

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25 minutes ago, Winky said:

I think Ajayi will be just fine, but the grid is hilarious.

 

If you remove the 200 yard games, and the games where he was getting less than 15 carries at the start of the season he still ends up at 1250 yards from scrimmage and 5 tds. His YPA falls to 3.7.  Still those are taking out his three best games.  Include them and he was on pace for around 1800 yards from scrimmage and 10 TDs.  I think he'll be ok, barring injury.  

 

 

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1 minute ago, Iron-cock said:

 

If you remove the 200 yard games, and the games where he was getting less than 15 carries at the start of the season he still ends up at 1250 yards from scrimmage and 5 tds. His YPA falls to 3.7.  Still those are taking out his three best games.  Include them and he was on pace for around 1800 yards from scrimmage and 10 TDs.  I think he'll be ok, barring injury.  

 

 

 

I'll give a full explanation in the Experts League thread. I have to pick the right moment, its still early days.

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I don't like waiting this long to draft...

Edited by boltup15

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24 minutes ago, Iron-cock said:

It was a bit nebulous between Proteus and Ryan who was going to be drafting...I hope both aren't thinking the other is drafting.

1.11 A.J. Green, WR, CIN (Proteus pick)

 

@Dislimb OTC

@boltup15 OTC2

Edited by DocJ

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Just now, boltup15 said:

I don't like waiting this long to draft...

Typically it goes faster than this...

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1 minute ago, DocJ said:

1.11 A.J. Green, WR, CIN (Proteus pick)

 

Damn.... to think he might have slipped to me...

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Dislimb hasn't been on for a while. Time to wait a couple hours... 

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1.01: David Johnson

Analysis: Being blessed with the first overall pick, it was pretty much down to DJ and Bell for me in light of Zeke's possible suspension and the more recent news of his bar fight. I went with DJ for a few reasons. The first, injury history. I know DJ got hurt late last season, but that injury did not require surgery, and he appears to be just fine based on what I've read and heard. Bell, meanwhile, has had a checkered injury past with everything from his knee to his groin, and concussions. I won't predict injuries, because that's just guess work, but when it comes down to two seemingly equal players, I will lean toward the player who has suffered fewer major injuries because I feel like those can take a toll on the body. The other reason I went DJ was because of Bell's suspension history. I've yet to hear anything negative off the field in regards to DJ, and the last thing I want is to find out my first overall pick got suspended the first four games of the season because he couldn't stay off of the weed. Third came down to strength of schedule. This is a game of matchups, and you want the best players with the best matchups. Bell faces the 3rd toughest schedule in terms of fantasy points allowed to RBs (based off of 2016), while Johnson faces the 15th easiest. I know it's splitting hair, but those easier matchups could be the difference between being the best overall RB, or just top 5. 

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1.03: Antonio Brown

 

I opened my laptop around 8:30AM after a bout of insomnia the night before.   I’m expecting DJ and Bell to be drafted, which they were.  That left me with Antonio Brown vs Zeke Elliot.  Last night I went to bed thinking I’d grab Zeke and live with the one or two game suspension he’s likely heading for.  I google Zeke before the pick, and I see Mike Fisher (A Dallas beat reporter) tweeted 30 minutes ago that Zeke was in a “late night altercation” at a bar.   No other details. So what did Zeke do?  Did he punch a guy?  Is the guy dead?  In a coma?  Did Zeke break his hand?

 

Lacking any details, I simply fall back to drafting Antonio Brown.

 

Antonio Brown does not require explanation or erudition in my opinion, but I will state the obvious for the record.  In a half point PPR, Brown should be a reliable contributor most weeks.  He’s third in yards from scrimmage since his breakout year of 2013, and has missed only one game since then.  He should be able to still produce with Landry when Big Ben’s annual injury rolls around.  

 

I did consider reaching for a running back I like that won’t be available at 2.11, but I decided to go for the more reliable choice here.  

 

With all of this reliability talk, I have undoubtedly jinxed Antonio Brown for 2017.

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1.05 Julio Jones

 

As I mentioned above I REALLY wanted a top 6 pick this year and secondarily REALLY wanted one of my top 3 ranked WR since this is ppr. What else can I say about Jones? He's been a beast ever since he entered the league and if he ever manages to snag double digit tds again over a full 16 games he will have one of the most elite seasons for a WR ever. Also, I figure there's so many d*mn screws in that foot by now that it can't possibly fall apart again.

Edited by DocJ

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2 minutes ago, DocJ said:

since this is ppr.

 

I thought this was half ppr? Also, is it 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 flex?

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Just now, boltup15 said:

 

I thought this was half ppr? Also, is it 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 flex?

 

Yes 0.5 sorry, 2 flex (RB/WR/TE)

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Just now, DocJ said:

 

Yes 0.5 sorry, 2 flex (RB/WR/TE)

 

So 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 TE, 2 flex?

Edited by boltup15

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2 minutes ago, boltup15 said:

 

So 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 TE, 2 flex?

 

Yes

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1.09 LeSean McCoy

 

I woke up and felt the cold ground underneath me. I smelled pine mixed with booze, shame, and 17 years of spectacular disappointment. I took a few seconds to come to my senses before realizing I had just been RKOed through a table (my third of the day.) I noticed the Barstool sports cameraman lurking behind my group of friends, camera in one hand and his own genitals in the other. It was my 36th birthday and I could think of no better way to celebrate in the bustling city of Buffalo than this (note: Applebees and Dave and Busters weren't open this early on a Sunday.)

 

I was here for one man: LeSean McCoy. Knowing I had selected him in the Rotoworld Real Mock Draft a few months earlier gave me a reason to live, to cheer, and to funnel shots out of the buttholes of hookers city wide until at least Week 4.

 

Note: not 36. 

Edited by Br0kenB

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More analysis like that and I'll just start all my bye players against you for all the lolz.

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14 minutes ago, Br0kenB said:

1.09 LeSean McCoy

 

I woke up and felt the cold ground underneath me. I smelled pine mixed with booze, shame, and 17 years of spectacular disappointment. I took a few seconds to come to my senses before realizing I had just been RKOed through a table (my third of the day.) I noticed the Barstool sports cameraman lurking behind my group of friends, camera in one hand and his own genitals in the other. It was my 36th birthday and I could think of no better way to celebrate in the bustling city of Buffalo than this (note: Applebees and Dave and Busters weren't open this early on a Sunday.)

 

I was here for one man: LeSean McCoy. Knowing I had selected him in the Rotoworld Real Mock Draft a few months earlier gave me a reason to live, to cheer, and to funnel shots out of the buttholes of hookers city wide until at least Week 4.

 

Note: not 36. 

 

brawls-balls-butts-and-beer-a-year-at-th

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